For many, it can be so tempting to live a secret life. Being our true, honest selves can be scary: will anyone accept us in our mess? Will we get called out by friends and family for behaving badly or acting out of line? Would anyone truly love us if they knew all our kinks, desires, mistakes, and ugly points? When no one knows who we truly are, we insulate and isolate ourselves. When our friends, family, and community don't know who we actually are behind closed doors or what we're going through, it's easy to delude ourselves that everything is all good. Self-isolation is an unhealthy avoidance tactic: when we do this, we avoid both the possibility for true love and acceptance (and growth), and also having to be accountable (and perhaps make amends) for who we truly are. In this episode, I talk about why it's so much better to live an honest, transparent and vulnerable life, than one hidden in the darkness and the shadows.